Facing My Ghost Stories at A Room of Her Own Writing Retreat

Tomorrow, I will board a bus to Ghost Ranch where one hundred writers await. They’re ready to haunt me in the New Mexico desert and send me home with horror stories. They’re ready to howl in my ears and spur goose bumps along my neck. They’re ready to tell me I’m not good enough.

Oh wait, that’s my imagination. Quiet, you! Where did this insecurity come from?

Visiting the New Mexico Natural History and Science Museum

Yup, that’s me about to be chomped on.
(Dinos at the New Mexico Natural History and Science Museum)

Yesterday, my head floated in the clouds as my plane touched down in Albuquerque. Even the thunderclouds couldn’t shake me. My eyes lit up at the red rock canyons and plateaus below. My fingertips itched to write, to welcome the desert sand.

But today, I read through all the biographies of the women writers attending the 2013 A Room of Her Own Writing Retreat, and I doubted myself completely. How could I compete with these incredible writers? How could I hope to have a relevant conversation with them? Ph.D.’s, MFA’s, published books, professors, high-profile awards, and who am I? I could hear the refrain in my head, “Who let that girl in?”

It didn’t help that I was sitting on a bunk bed at my Route 66 Hostel. How unprofessional. How college co-ed. How true.

I’m a young aspiring writer with a few short story publications and contest wins under my belt. I majored in English Literature. I’ve interned at inspiring organizations like National Novel Writing Month, the Young Writers Program, and Room to Read. I’ve published freelance articles on lifestyle, travel, nonprofits, hard news, and other random topics. But, all of it felt like nothing compared to these writers. How could I face them tomorrow? Would any of them want to talk to me? Would I have anything interesting to say about writing? A whole week with these people at an isolated ranch in the desert, what would I do?

And then, I stood up and whacked my head on the bunk bed above me. So silly. Remember that the judges saw promise in your writing sample and accepted you into this competitive retreat. Remember that the whole point of the A Room of Her Own Foundation is to create a strong and bold writing community. Remember that all of the women writers have been where I am now. Remember your voice.

And stop hitting your head on the top bunk.

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4 Comments

Filed under Retreats

4 responses to “Facing My Ghost Stories at A Room of Her Own Writing Retreat

  1. Pingback: Why Writers’ Retreats Work (Mostly) | findingtimetowrite

  2. So great. You are such an amazing writer and person! What courage you have, to jump into such an adventure, and to say “no!” to your insecurities. We all have these, of course, and we should all be so swift to encourage ourselves! That other voice is so right–you absolutely have every right to be there. Congratulations on embarking on this journey. Thank you for being the inspiration you are. And thank you, because I know your participation in this retreat will elevate our group! Can’t wait to hear all about it!

  3. .

    You’re an amazing writer, Andrea! I agree with Taylor. You have every right to be there. The judges chose wisely. I can’t wait to hear about the retreat.

  4. Thanks so much for the support! More AROHO retreat blog posts to come!

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